Welcome!

Java IoT Authors: Pat Romanski, Yeshim Deniz, Elizabeth White, Liz McMillan, Paul Simmons

Article

Coffee machines with IPs and other ridiculous things the IoT proposes

What is the future of IoT?

 

Lately, I think anyone with a minimum interest in technology and computing has heard about the IoT. It's that dying fad that has been reborn from its millennial ashes and that has become, to a certain extent, something we're already living with. 3 or 4G internet connected cars, wi-fi synched domotics, and many more technological adaptations that are aimed at making our lives one giant connection, all thanks to that wonderful concept we call INTERNET.

 

Yes, technology  has recently come along way and the revival of the IoT was just something waiting to happen somewhere along that evolutionary process.

 

The idea of it has been lingering around since the mid-twentieth century sci-fi novel days, when the concept of internet and interconnected society was still something to be speculated about, and mainly a theme of relative fantasy. Well, the day has come, and we're here today to discuss some of the most ridiculous, impractical, or in general useless things the IoT is posing for current and future projects. I mean, what good is an internet connected coffee machine that you can set to make you warm coffee with an app on your smartphone, if you can't really piece the rest of your day together. Seems pretty useless to me.

 

As we travel further down into a spiral of "smart" objects, we have the chance to become useless ourselves. I mean, come on, if you need your frying pans, deodorant sticks, or coffee mug to be connected, allow you to chat, or give you recipes, there's not much I can do for you. We've gone from 0-60 in a heartbeat, and where before there wasn't near 10% as many senseless products for everyday life, now we're willing to put an IP on our cats. Forget monitoring with things like Nagios, Pandora FMS or anything company-related, the IoT aims to monitor the temperature your steak is cooking at and how many calories it means for your dieting plan, while you chill and netflix. Dude, what? I get the sudden impression that IoT is mainly aimed to solving your first world problems when it could be focused on things that are a tad bit more important, like creating interconnected objects that actually help people and society as a whole (not that it isn't doing this, but that's a smaller line of development, and that's what makes it offensive).

Let's cut straight to our countdown. Please take this lightheartedly if you're a person that is already so deep into the use of IoT that you actually see a practicality out of everything internet-connected. If you're still going to hate, leave it in the comments, I'll be sure to read it.

 

SMART KITCHENWEAR

 

Nothing is easier to roast than the IoT applied to senseless kitchenwear. Imagine your any person over 50 that never got to know the wonders of a

temperature monitored frying pan, or a tea kettle that warns you constantly when your tea or coffee is done. Jeez, that must of been exasperating.

Although, do you stop to wonder why food back then tasted better or different? Because it was done with heart and a pinch of possible human error. We were not meant to be perfect, our lives weren't either. So why make it so that those small, enjoyable things in life like cooking are machined to near perfection? This touches a personal nerve. Personally I really enjoy cooking. Taking the time and mistakes to create something that you not only need, but that when well made is personally satisfying, is something that is rewarding psychologically and that I recommend everyone to try. Easy cooking has replaced fast food, but only because it's just as fast and yet gives you a false sense of satisfaction that you made it yourself. Your wrong. Nothing will compare to the sense of traditional cooking in my opinion, and whilst some mechanical or electronic aid to the process are welcome, the items shown below blow it out of proportion and into ridiculousness.

 

http://quench.me/food/5-ridiculous-iot-gadgets-for-the-kitchen/

 

BE SPORTS SMART

 

Nutrition and fitness tracking have been around for a while, and have remained a titan of the "smart" mentality and business. As always, the information compiled from most of these services has connection to social feeds and allows for targeted marketing to be performed, but that's another issue. At first, it was actually quite the practical thing for all those people that liked to jog or eat healthy, allowing you to track and remember your health landmarks. But now it's just getting out of hand. Things like smart waterbottles, sportswear, shoes, watches, bracelets are just part of a long list of software dependent items to make sure you can watch yourself being a hamster in a wheel.

Here is a top 3 of the most useless health and fitness related smart items:

 

HIDRATE: (ONE OF THE MANY) SMART WATER BOTTLES

 

Yes people, this exists. Imagine, you're jogging, and forget to drink water! Wow, either you jogged for a short time, or there's something wrong with your thirst response (I think this was your central nervous system?) and you should see a doctor just in case. But yep, they made a smart water bottle instead, one of many products of this sort, that synchs to an app on your phone that alerts you "Hey, aren't you feeling a bit dehydrated?".

Definitely a worthy candidate on this list.

https://ksr-video.imgix.net/projects/1845469/video-543231-h264_high.mp4

 

THE LIFEBEAM SMART HELMET

 

We all know how useful it can be to remotely monitor your vitals while bike trekking. I mean, if you suddenly have an arrythmia, you don't notice, right? What about hyperventilating? Maybe should've been more conscious before you decided to try a 30 mile forest cycle without having ever trained on a regular basis before. Well that's why we have LifeBEAM. If it worked for jet pilots, why not for cyclists.

There's just no excuse for this, helmets with fragile technology: quite useful indeed. Especially since there's other, let's say, more practical devices that perform exactly the same feats.

 

 

 

HEXOSKIN SMARTWEAR

 

Okay, this one maybe isn't that silly, but I think it shouldn't be meant for consumer use, I mean, unless you're into dropping a big buck for yet another vital sign monitoring device. These guys actually did a little bit better, the clothes look decent enough and do exactly what you'd expect from a vital sign/fitness/sleep monitoring item with software. I think if they continue to travel the route of offering their product to athletes, astronauts and certain medical patients, they'll be exploring a much more decent route than that of crowdfunding and open market. Right now the public is saturated with general health monitoring items and software, if you want people to take you seriously, take yourself seriously first.

 

 

 

GENERAL LAUGHINGSTOCK

 

In this last part we'll review some really honorable mentions to the ridiculous side of the IoT, and hope that now whenever you see an item like this, you reconsider where mankind is headed, and laugh.

 

BLACKSOCKS: SMARTER SOCKS

 

And just when I thought I wouldn't live to see the day when I'd need an app to tell me about my sock pairs. This thing looks like a parody of itself,

or some sort of racist pun, but no, it's real. They really do try to do this as something serious, but it ends up being another ingenious corporate

backfire.

 

 

VESSYL: BECAUSE, WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DRINK?

 

Oh, these guys just like. Wow. What to say? I really need to know about everything I drink along the day. I wonder if this will tell me when to quit drinking beer before I get into hangover risk treshold. That would be a brilliant feature. In the meanwhile, I think we're going to have to live with probably one of the "hippest" IoT products to date. The commercial for this thing screams "Hey, you're not ready for the urban life if you don't have one of these ridiculous yet smart cups!". Cute.

 

 

SMART MOOD CONTROL

 

I think this should be borderline illegal, especially considering they can't even explain their product correctly. I really dislike the concept of having something feeding "calming" or "energizing" waves into my brain, thank you Dr. Strange.

 

 

 

SPIRE: REMEMBER, BREATHE

 

The concept is OK for this one, but really, do you need your phone to remind you to take a deep breath because you seem agitated? "No Siri, I won't chill" *breaks phone*. Let's be honest, when you're running around your daily stressful life, the last thing you need to relieve that stress is your phone telling you to cool down and breathe. If you're stressed enough, chances are you'll hurl the phone straight at someone's face, act that you may have avoided if your phone hadn't triggered yet another useless alarm.

 

 

YOUR YOGA ROUTINE, GETTING SMART

 

We all yearned for the day when there would be a yoga mat that could be dubbed as smart. Well here it is. This thing guides you with a speaker through your yoga routine, because using memory is for suckers.

 

 

 

I could go on with this list, but I fear the mental scars from all the senseless items available would be too deep. As a summary for my take on these types of senseles IoT proposals can all be summarized into one simple video parody:

 

 

Cheers and take care, I'm going to go talk with my therapist to get over this sense of inminent global damnation.

 

More Stories By Aleister Foaley

Computer Science and Engineering at MIT. I love teaching and forum reading.

@ThingsExpo Stories
DXWorldEXPO LLC announced today that ICC-USA, a computer systems integrator and server manufacturing company focused on developing products and product appliances, will exhibit at the 22nd International CloudEXPO | DXWorldEXPO. DXWordEXPO New York 2018, colocated with CloudEXPO New York 2018 will be held November 11-13, 2018, in New York City. ICC is a computer systems integrator and server manufacturing company focused on developing products and product appliances to meet a wide range of ...
More and more brands have jumped on the IoT bandwagon. We have an excess of wearables – activity trackers, smartwatches, smart glasses and sneakers, and more that track seemingly endless datapoints. However, most consumers have no idea what “IoT” means. Creating more wearables that track data shouldn't be the aim of brands; delivering meaningful, tangible relevance to their users should be. We're in a period in which the IoT pendulum is still swinging. Initially, it swung toward "smart for smart...
Headquartered in Plainsboro, NJ, Synametrics Technologies has provided IT professionals and computer systems developers since 1997. Based on the success of their initial product offerings (WinSQL and DeltaCopy), the company continues to create and hone innovative products that help its customers get more from their computer applications, databases and infrastructure. To date, over one million users around the world have chosen Synametrics solutions to help power their accelerated business or per...
Dion Hinchcliffe is an internationally recognized digital expert, bestselling book author, frequent keynote speaker, analyst, futurist, and transformation expert based in Washington, DC. He is currently Chief Strategy Officer at the industry-leading digital strategy and online community solutions firm, 7Summits.
In an era of historic innovation fueled by unprecedented access to data and technology, the low cost and risk of entering new markets has leveled the playing field for business. Today, any ambitious innovator can easily introduce a new application or product that can reinvent business models and transform the client experience. In their Day 2 Keynote at 19th Cloud Expo, Mercer Rowe, IBM Vice President of Strategic Alliances, and Raejeanne Skillern, Intel Vice President of Data Center Group and ...
Founded in 2000, Chetu Inc. is a global provider of customized software development solutions and IT staff augmentation services for software technology providers. By providing clients with unparalleled niche technology expertise and industry experience, Chetu has become the premiere long-term, back-end software development partner for start-ups, SMBs, and Fortune 500 companies. Chetu is headquartered in Plantation, Florida, with thirteen offices throughout the U.S. and abroad.
Bill Schmarzo, author of "Big Data: Understanding How Data Powers Big Business" and "Big Data MBA: Driving Business Strategies with Data Science," is responsible for setting the strategy and defining the Big Data service offerings and capabilities for EMC Global Services Big Data Practice. As the CTO for the Big Data Practice, he is responsible for working with organizations to help them identify where and how to start their big data journeys. He's written several white papers, is an avid blogge...
"We are a well-established player in the application life cycle management market and we also have a very strong version control product," stated Flint Brenton, CEO of CollabNet,, in this SYS-CON.tv interview at 18th Cloud Expo at the Javits Center in New York City, NY.
It is of utmost importance for the future success of WebRTC to ensure that interoperability is operational between web browsers and any WebRTC-compliant client. To be guaranteed as operational and effective, interoperability must be tested extensively by establishing WebRTC data and media connections between different web browsers running on different devices and operating systems. In his session at WebRTC Summit at @ThingsExpo, Dr. Alex Gouaillard, CEO and Founder of CoSMo Software, presented ...
Most people haven’t heard the word, “gamification,” even though they probably, and perhaps unwittingly, participate in it every day. Gamification is “the process of adding games or game-like elements to something (as a task) so as to encourage participation.” Further, gamification is about bringing game mechanics – rules, constructs, processes, and methods – into the real world in an effort to engage people. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Robert Endo, owner and engagement manager of Intrepid D...
Recently, WebRTC has a lot of eyes from market. The use cases of WebRTC are expanding - video chat, online education, online health care etc. Not only for human-to-human communication, but also IoT use cases such as machine to human use cases can be seen recently. One of the typical use-case is remote camera monitoring. With WebRTC, people can have interoperability and flexibility for deploying monitoring service. However, the benefit of WebRTC for IoT is not only its convenience and interopera...
Michael Maximilien, better known as max or Dr. Max, is a computer scientist with IBM. At IBM Research Triangle Park, he was a principal engineer for the worldwide industry point-of-sale standard: JavaPOS. At IBM Research, some highlights include pioneering research on semantic Web services, mashups, and cloud computing, and platform-as-a-service. He joined the IBM Cloud Labs in 2014 and works closely with Pivotal Inc., to help make the Cloud Found the best PaaS.
Everything run by electricity will eventually be connected to the Internet. Get ahead of the Internet of Things revolution. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Akvelon expert and IoT industry leader Sergey Grebnov provided an educational dive into the world of managing your home, workplace and all the devices they contain with the power of machine-based AI and intelligent Bot services for a completely streamlined experience.
Cloud-enabled transformation has evolved from cost saving measure to business innovation strategy -- one that combines the cloud with cognitive capabilities to drive market disruption. Learn how you can achieve the insight and agility you need to gain a competitive advantage. Industry-acclaimed CTO and cloud expert, Shankar Kalyana presents. Only the most exceptional IBMers are appointed with the rare distinction of IBM Fellow, the highest technical honor in the company. Shankar has also receive...
Business professionals no longer wonder if they'll migrate to the cloud; it's now a matter of when. The cloud environment has proved to be a major force in transitioning to an agile business model that enables quick decisions and fast implementation that solidify customer relationships. And when the cloud is combined with the power of cognitive computing, it drives innovation and transformation that achieves astounding competitive advantage.
Personalization has long been the holy grail of marketing. Simply stated, communicate the most relevant offer to the right person and you will increase sales. To achieve this, you must understand the individual. Consequently, digital marketers developed many ways to gather and leverage customer information to deliver targeted experiences. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Lou Casal, Founder and Principal Consultant at Practicala, discussed how the Internet of Things (IoT) has accelerated our abilit...
In his session at Cloud Expo, Alan Winters, U.S. Head of Business Development at MobiDev, presented a success story of an entrepreneur who has both suffered through and benefited from offshore development across multiple businesses: The smart choice, or how to select the right offshore development partner Warning signs, or how to minimize chances of making the wrong choice Collaboration, or how to establish the most effective work processes Budget control, or how to maximize project result...
To get the most out of their data, successful companies are not focusing on queries and data lakes, they are actively integrating analytics into their operations with a data-first application development approach. Real-time adjustments to improve revenues, reduce costs, or mitigate risk rely on applications that minimize latency on a variety of data sources. In his session at @BigDataExpo, Jack Norris, Senior Vice President, Data and Applications at MapR Technologies, reviewed best practices to ...
Data is the fuel that drives the machine learning algorithmic engines and ultimately provides the business value. In his session at Cloud Expo, Ed Featherston, a director and senior enterprise architect at Collaborative Consulting, discussed the key considerations around quality, volume, timeliness, and pedigree that must be dealt with in order to properly fuel that engine.
In his keynote at 19th Cloud Expo, Sheng Liang, co-founder and CEO of Rancher Labs, discussed the technological advances and new business opportunities created by the rapid adoption of containers. With the success of Amazon Web Services (AWS) and various open source technologies used to build private clouds, cloud computing has become an essential component of IT strategy. However, users continue to face challenges in implementing clouds, as older technologies evolve and newer ones like Docker c...